Life as a graduate student is tough. It's even tougher when you work full-time and have children. I have 4 children. I have been in graduate school since my oldest child was weeks old (she turns 12 this year). When I look back on that I think, how did I do that? When I tell people that they often ask, how did you do that? My response used to be "I just do" or "If you had to do it you would just figure it out" which, it turns out, is not a response at all.
Paying for Help
All four of my kids were in daycare for at least part of their lives. All of them were in daycare between the ages of 1-4. This was something that we needed to do so that we could also build our careers. While one full-time parent at home would have been helpful, it's not how we chose to do it. And, looking back, I think it worked out okay. If you do put your kids in daycare, do your homework. Talk to other parents who have their children in the daycare, look up the daycare to see if they have any complaints filed with the provincial regulator. If you choose the daycare route then budget for it, but also know that childcare expenses are tax deductable.
Prioritizing and Meeting Small Goals
The key is being able to prioritize. What needs to be done right now? If you have an assignment for school that is due this week then prioritize it. However, also know that in graduate school (especially graduate school for those who are working professionals) you can talk to your professor and discuss deadline extensions as long as they know about it beforehand and you have a clear plan to submit the assignment.
Transferable Skills
Successfully managing your work, family, school life is a skill. It is not something that everyone knows how to do. It takes experience, knowledge, and ongoing practice. It took me years to realize that many of the skills that I use for managing the pieces of my busy life are skills that are also used in business for project management. Skills like organization, time management, communication, negotiation, conflict resolution, are all skills that are transferable to the paid work world. Know that. Internalize that. Use that when you are moving through the different domains of your life.
Looking Back
It has been tough. For many years it was a tradeoff of nurse jobs that did not necessarily help me build my career, but did it into the bigger picture of what my career goals were along with being able to support my partner in the early years of his nursing career and being able to financially provide for my family. There were definitely years where I did work much more than full-time so that we were able to do things like pay for a mortgage, do extracurricular activities. My partner and I still work a lot. We still have four kids. We take on a lot. That is the norm for us and so far it has worked out. But, life is a process and we are constantly in flux. Things change, and we are change management experts at this point.
Love,
Michelle D.
