Having children is expensive. Everything costs money, and I live in one of the most expensive places in Canada. On top of that inflation rates are higher than they have been in decades.
In the last year, I have found that my new favourite phrase to say to my kids is, "that wasn't free." It works in many different scenarios like when they take one bite of dinner and bring it to the sink or when they use half a roll of toilet paper when they go to the bathroom. I have successfully turned into a parent, hyper-aware of all the money that is being spent on things that might immediately go into the garbage. I have also come to appreciate the amount of money that my parents spent on my sibling and I when we were growing up in a middle-class suburban neighbourhood in the 1980s and 90s (and 2000s because I lived with my parents until I was 26).
It's quite an interesting phenomenon, that turning point in my life when I realized that I'm closer in years to retirement than I am from my high school graduation. I understand now, those nurses who I worked with at the start of my career who were in their late 40s and worried about things like their pension, and counting down the years to their retirement date. But sometimes I wonder, is this something that I am more apt to feel as a woman because at times it seems like my men peers are just winding up their careers and charging forward as they hit their 40s. I will give you an anecdotal point of comparison. My partner and I are both doing our PhDs. For him, this is a great stepping stone to bigger and better career opportunities. Meanwhile, I just want to get this done with no clear plan or idea of what happens next, or if the return on this will even be worth the amount of time it has taken away from spending time with my children and family.
Love,
Michelle D.
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