Musing From a State of Perpetual Exhaustion

 I woke up at 5:00 am this morning. I wake up at 5:00 am every morning. This has been my life for the past decade. I am living in a perpetual state of sleepiness. Yes, I make it to work just fine (50 percent of the time making it to work means moving from my desk located in the northwest corner of my bedroom), but not with the sharp mind that I would hope. I know my situation is not unique. I know I am not special. But I sharing it to normalize it nonetheless. I am not seeking sympathy, rather, I am hoping to increase your awareness that this is what happens for most parents. This is what many women in Canada who are balancing career and family are coping with in 2023, especially in the most expensive urban centre in the country. 

I have lived in the Lower Mainland for the majority of the last 15 years. I love it here. It's beautiful. There are so many days when I am taking the Skytrain to work or driving to visit friends when I think, what a beautiful place I live in, I am so lucky to live here. But it is increasingly difficult financially to stay here.

It's no secret. My partner and I made the decision to birth 4 children. We love them. They are hilarious little geniuses. But it costs money to raise children. It takes time to raise children. And both of those things we are finding we have less and less the older they get (and the older we get). My partner and I are both nurses. It's not a super financially lucrative career but it's an in demand profession that has a lot of opportunity and allows us to make a positive contribution to the world. It's a beautiful profession that we will probably always hold close to our hearts, but it is becoming more and more difficult to stay in this profession because of financial limitations but also because of the emotional burden. Healthcare is a tough profession to get into right now in terms of the heaviness in the system, overburdened as the pandemic has been declared over but the pressure of the global crisis deeply lingers.

And so, my family and I are shouldering many different burdens, while my partner and I attempt to juggling many balls and keep them successfully in the air. 

When will they drop? Hopefully not until our younger children graduates from high school. 

Love,

Michelle D.